Cocotulips


People are always saying "you can't chose your family", I don't think that's true. Friends are the family that you chose. I'm a person that loves with all of my heart, I've learnt with age that not everyone deserves my friendship. The way I see it is, I have a finite amount of time on this earth so, the people I choose to spend my time with is actually really important. I don't want to waste my time with people that aren't bringing positive energy into my life. Maya Angelou says "when people show you who they are, listen the first time as they know themselves much better than you do". I think when you love someone, you need to take them for who they are and not what you want them to be, if not then move on.


I make it no secret that this year has been absolutely terrible for me. In April I was dreading summer, I thought my broken heart was going to ruin it and I was going to just be indoors on my own crying all day. Instead, I've had the best summer of my life. It started with some really awkward and horrible conversations, but it has all been worth it. I've been on beautiful trips with the people I love and danced and laughed and picnicked and ate luscious food. I've seen new places, lived new experiences and made friends with some pretty wonderful new people. In a dark twist, I probably wouldn't have become close to some of them if it hadn't have been for the terrible start to my year. I've been exploring on my own and getting comfortable in my own skin and my own company. Even though I miss my family so much, I've found strength in myself to keep the good times rolling. 

Oresiri xx


I've been in two relationships in my life. My first experience of heartbreak came when I was 19 years old and I ended my relationship just before finishing my second year of university. We had been together for 7 months and I don't really remember how I felt about him anymore. What I do remember was me torturing myself over ending the relationship. He just wasn't putting any effort into it and I mean the bare minimum ie. sticking to plans and being nice. Here's what I wrote in my journal at the time "I'm going to miss just hanging out with him and his friendship. He was such a bad boyfriend though tbh. It was deffo for the best (side bar: who even says deffo - cringe). We weren't working out and I need to be focussed on getting my 2.1"(side bar #2: I got a 1st because I'm rock n'roll). It does make me laugh reading that back. It's funny how at the time my sister remembers me crying non stop for 2 weeks over the easter break from university and now the memories have faded away for me.

Fast forward 3 years and reflecting on my most recent heartbreak, I was getting excited to spend a summer of fun with the guy I was with. I had to end the relationship and I was mourning for the summer that we had planned to share. I'm at my happiest in summer, coating myself in glitter and dancing in a field is my favourite thing to do. I love sitting in the park and having a picnic or hanging out in a beer garden with pals in a floaty summer dress. I again agonised over my decision, as if I could just pretend for the sake of my summer plans that everything in body wasn't screaming at me to end the relationship. As Dolly Allerton wrote "no practical matter is important enough to keep you in the wrong relationship. Holidays can be cancelled ...". Those words spoke to my soul. (side bar #3 - you have to read Everything I Know About Love - I've recommended it to everyone and their mum since I finished it).



I guess what I'm trying to say here is, heartbreak doesn't last forever. Yes it's the most horrible, rubbish all consuming pain but it has a short half life. Week by week I noticed the pain diminishing to the point where I can get on with my life and move on. I think every heartbreak I've experienced has taught me something and made me stronger. The first one taught me that it's okay to have expectations and not just anyone deserves your heart. My second has taught me that my boundaries are non negotiable and that applies to friendship too. The way I feel matters and it's healthy and normal for that to matter to who I'm with.

Hopefully when I'm actually ready to open up to someone new, I will take all of the lessons I've learnt and allow myself to fall into love head first. I do not want to be cancelling flights and selling festival tickets again but hey, they happen every year - FOMO doesn't kill. I suspect whoever woos me next  will be a rock climber as my walls are up high and enjoy my tragic jokes, hopefully he has a cute dog. I'm off to google how to flirt lol.


I took these pictures just before I left the house to head to the library. I spent the most fabulous day just being okay in my own company and wandering through Chelsea without a care in the world.

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Oresiri xx

Hey, so it's been a long time. The last post I published is from all the way back in January. I remember pulling those pictures together a month after I went to Rome with some of my closest friends. I wrote that travel guide as a way to try and convince myself that I was okay. I haven't actually looked at my own blog in months because I just felt so rubbish. I experienced betrayal and it completely knocked me. I'd find myself tearful for no reason and anxiety took full hold of me.

I was in a relationship when I didn't love myself and I was so very concerned with how my boyfriend at the time was feeling and never how I was feeling. I was swallowing that knot in my tummy that was telling me something was wrong, putting myself last in everything and ripping myself apart in the process. I took these photos in March after I'd ordered some photography equipment, vowing to post something on here to prove to myself that I could. I couldn't - until now.


It felt like bad thing after bad thing kept happening and every time I started to pull myself up, something new came and knocked me over again. I lost every shred of confidence I had, I was not myself at all, I was just feeling really fragile. I couldn't look in the mirror and the most baffling part of it all was that I didn't look any different. My friends and family kept telling me I was a beautiful person but I didn't feel beautiful. I felt broken.

I write this now and I'm in such a different place. Bottling up feelings and locking away my trauma made me implode on myself. When I finally opened up and felt the feelings I'd been running away from, I was finally able to process. The burden of holding everything in was too much for my 22-year-old shoulders to carry. I finally understand that I can't live my life for other people and what other people think of me can't be where I draw my confidence from, my confidence now comes from within. Here I am finally posting these pictures. I feel really proud of myself for fighting through the darkest storm I've ever faced. I've been doing all of the things I love like journaling and scrapbooking and laughing to myself. I've started to sing in the shower again and call my friends to just have lighthearted nonsense conversations and exploring this beautiful city that I get to call home. I feel stronger than ever.


These smiles were fake at the time but I'm sat here smiling now after crying for the version of me that's trapped in these photos. 



Anyways, I'm back and I have so many reasons to smile for real.

Oresiri xx



Rome is THE most beautiful place I have ever been. I recently went away with my friends from university and had an absolute blast. Just like when I went to Barcelona, I really want to put together a travel guide to Rome. We spent a week eating our way through the city and seeing some of the places I've always dreamed of visiting.

STAY.


Airbnb - We stayed in a lovely airbnb. Before we went, we thought it was going to have these beautiful balconies with gorgeous views. When we arrived, workmen woke us up abruptly at 7am every day.

EATS.

Eataly - We went to Eataly on day one, it's a giant Italian food store where you can buy fresh veggies and pasta amongst many other foods. There was this lovely food hall on one of the higher levels where I got a delicious pizza. 

150 Gelato: There are literally 150 different flavours of ice cream!! I was overwhelmed. If you're near the pantheon, you can walk here quite easily and there's no way you wont be able to find something you'll love. 

Antico Carlone: This is the best carbonara you will ever here in your life. It wasn't touristy at all and I regularly think about the pasta I ate there. It's a meal I will never forget. If you're n Rome, you have got to go and try the carbonara. 

PLAY.

Vicolo de' Clinque: If you just fancy a drink in a lively bar then head to this street in Trestavere, there's loads of lovely bars to sit and have some nice cocktails. 

SIGHTS.

Rome has some of the most iconic landmarks to take in. Here's some of the places I managed to see.
Pantheon: This place is very impressive and beautiful and packed full oh history. We took the audio tour and got to learn about some of the legends.

Spanish Steps: It was very busy here but if you climb to the very top, the view is insane. There's a lovely boutique hotel up there too. We went and had a couple drinks and watched the sun set. The manager was very merry and brought us lots of lovely cocktails to try.

Colosseum: When you think of Rome, the Colosseum is the place you think of. It's very grand in person. Across the road, I had the best Aperol spritz in a little caffe across the road. 

Trevi Fountain: Anyone that has watched the LizziMcGuire movie will know this fountain. It was beautiful, it was quite surreal to see it in person and throw a coin and make a wish.

Sistine ChapelSaint Peter's BasilicaThe Vatican Museums: This was my favourite part of the trip. We found a tour guide package and got a guided tour of all of these places. Sistine chapel was incredible.

Oresiri xx

I am completely in love with my new city. I'v been a little MIA recently - just getting to grips with a lot of changes and getting myself back to a good place. I'm all settled into more of a routine finally so I'm going to try and start writing more. I've got some exciting trips planned for next year and I'm genuinely happy with the way my life is going. Next step - actually regularly attend the gym (don't hold your breath).

Oresiri xx

Barcelona is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen with my own eyes. The heat, the blue skies, ZARA - need I go on. So I went away a few weeks back with my friends from school and we got to see quite a bit of this beautiful place. I'm going to share some of the fabulous things we did.


Stay. 


Airbnb - We stayed in an Airbnb for the week and it was honestly the best choice for us. I loved the minimalistic interiors and it felt a bit more private. Despite this, we were right in the middle of the city in the thick of it. We could even walk to Las Ramblas everyday. I think if you're going for a weekend - then a hotel would be fine but because we were there for a week - having a whole apartment to ourselves was spot on.

Play.

Oh the party scene is absolutely fantastic. No matter what kind of boogie you want - there's something for you.
Jamboree: This was by far the best night out I have ever had. Every song was spot on. They also had two floors so if you're into chart/indie/throwback your covered and then if you like hiphop/rnb/90s jams - they've got you. I have never danced for so long in my life. Check it out.

W Hotel Bar: It was okay in the sky bar - it all seemed a little pretentious. The view was incredible though so definitely worth going for a cocktail just to see the view. The bar downstairs on the ground floor was the absolute opposite! It was so friendly down there and it had a really great atmousphere. I'll definitely head back there the next time in in Barcelona.

La Tarrrazza: If you love techno - you'll love this place. It's a really nice outdoors club.

Catwalk: One of the big clubs near the beech - we headed here for a boogie and the music was good. It had air con which is literally a life saver. The one thing I will say is that I felt a little old in there which is strange because I was 21 at the time. Definitely worth a visit though even if just to experience a mega club - I know I've never seen a place that big before. 


Eats.


Hotel 54: The best burger I have ever eaten in my life!!! No joke and they had really great sangria deals. It's right on the strip on the walk back from the beech and you can just sit outside and watch the world go by. We sat down for dinner here and watched the evening turn to night. It just had so many good vibes.

Les Quize Nits: This place has such a nice atmosphere. It's in this gorgeous square near Las Ramblas - it's actually right near Jamboree. The food was okay but I made a really boring choice so I can't really sing from the rooftops. Great place to have lunch and a glass of wine. 

Los Caracoles: I ate snails!! My friend Priya went to Barcelona with her family and gushed about this restaurant the whole time. We decided to go on our last night and we weren't disappointed. It's a historic place - one of the oldest restaurants in the city and it was lovely. Can I just say - the bread in this place was fantastic. 

Sights.

 Gothic Quarter: Just walking around and looking at all of the buildings was fun. There's also the Barcelona Cathedral to see which is beautiful.

Basilica de la Sagrada Familia: Gaudi's most famous work - we went and did the tour and got to learn a little bit about the building. To be honest - I was just overwhelmed by the hight of the ceiling in there and the sculptures are pretty impressive.

Park Guell: Walking around this park was one of my highlights. It was so beautiful and there was so much to see.

Arc de Triumph: Quite quick to see but it's very pretty.

Magic Fountains of Mountjuic: This is a free show where you sit around the fountain and watch the light show. It's some good wholesome fun and the fountains dance to the rhythm of some banging tunes. I really enjoyed this one.

Beaches: We spent quite some time just laying out in the sun - chill.

Sala Monjuic outdoor film festival: This was very cute - there's a film projected onto the castle and everyone brings camping chars to sit and enjoy the film. We saw the Revenant and it was good vibes all around - do take a coat though. It definitely got a little cold as the night rolled on.

All in all, Barcelona was absolutely beautiful and I'll definitely be going back. I think next time I go I'll be looking to go to a few more salsa clubs and really boogie but I enjoyed my first visit. Barcelona - you were a delight.

Oresiri xx
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